There are few things harder than knowing that someone we love will eventually die. Sometimes death comes suddenly, leaving us stunned by how quickly life can change. At other times, we can see it approaching. A diagnosis is given. Strength begins to fade. Conversations become more precious because somewhere in the back of our minds we know there may not be many left.
That kind of waiting can produce a strange sort of grief. The person we love is still with us, yet we are already mourning what we know may soon be lost. We are thankful for another day while wishing desperately that the days would stop passing. Scripture never tells us that such sorrow is evidence of weak faith.
When Paul wrote to the Christians in Thessalonica about those who had died, he did not tell them to stop grieving. Instead, he wrote, “we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Paul did not say, “Do not grieve.” He told them not to grieve without hope.
The Thessalonian Christians apparently had questions concerning believers who had died before the return of Christ. Had those Christians somehow missed what God had promised? Paul wanted them to understand what would happen to those who had “fallen asleep.” Scripture sometimes uses sleep as an image for death because death will not have the final word. Those who die in Christ will be raised.
But Paul’s purpose was not merely to satisfy curiosity about the future. He gave them truth to correct their misunderstanding so that they could grieve with hope. “For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 4:14).
That is the foundation beneath everything Paul says. Jesus died and Jesus rose again. Christian hope is not built upon positive thinking or vague assurances that somehow everything will work out. It rests upon what God has done in Jesus Christ.
It is interesting that Paul describes deceased Christians as those who “sleep,” yet when he speaks of Jesus, he says plainly that Jesus died. Christ truly entered death and then rose from it. Paul says elsewhere that Christ has been raised as “the first fruits of those who are asleep” (1 Corinthians 15:20). His resurrection is not an isolated miracle. Because He rose, those who belong to Him will rise as well.
Still, Scripture does not pretend that death itself is beautiful. Paul calls it “the last enemy” (1 Corinthians 15:26). Death separates people who love one another. It ends conversations we wanted to keep having and leaves empty places in our lives.
There is nothing ungodly about acknowledging that. When Lazarus died, Jesus stood outside his tomb knowing exactly what He was about to do. He knew Lazarus would soon walk out alive, and still, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). Knowing resurrection was coming did not make tears inappropriate. Christians can say both, “This hurts,” and, “I have hope.”
Paul then reassures the Thessalonians that those who died in Christ had not missed anything God had promised. “We who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep” (1 Thessalonians 4:15). He describes the Lord descending from heaven, the dead in Christ rising, and God’s people being gathered together. Then he reaches the destination of the passage: “And so we shall always be with the Lord” (1 Thessalonians 4:17).
Those may be some of the most comforting words ever written about death. There is certainly comfort in the hope of reunion. When faithful brothers and sisters in Christ die, goodbye does not have to mean forever. But even reunion is not the greatest promise in this passage. Paul does not simply say that we will always be with one another. He says, “we shall always be with the Lord.”
That is the center of Christian hope. Our hope is not merely the end of suffering or even reunion with those whom we miss. Our hope is Christ Himself. We will be with the One who loved us, died for us, conquered death, and made resurrection possible.
Then Paul gives one final instruction: “Therefore comfort one another with these words” (1 Thessalonians 4:18). Paul has just taught about death, resurrection, the return of Christ, and the gathering of God’s people. What does he tell Christians to do with all of that theology? Comfort one another.
These truths were never intended merely to fill charts or fuel arguments about the details of the end times. God revealed them because Christians would eventually sit beside hospital beds, stand beside graves, and hold grieving loved ones. Sometimes we will not know why something happened, and there may be no explanation that makes the pain disappear. But we can remind one another of what God has revealed: Christ died, Christ rose, Christ is coming again, the dead in Christ will rise, God’s people will be gathered together, and we will always be with the Lord.
If you are watching someone you love grow weaker, there is nothing faithless about wishing desperately for more time. There is nothing wrong with dreading the separation that may come. You can treasure the time you have, pray for more of it, weep over what you fear losing, and still trust God completely. Our confidence does not depend upon our ability to face death bravely. It depends upon Christ’s victory over death.
We cannot always prevent the goodbye. We cannot make separation painless. We cannot always answer the question, “Why now?” But because Jesus walked into death and came out again, those who belong to Him know something death cannot change. Death gets a moment…Christ gets eternity.
So when someone grieves, we do not need to tell them not to cry. We remind them that their tears are not the end of the story. We grieve, we weep, and we miss those we love…but not without hope. For those who belong to Christ, even death is met with the promise, “Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on!” (Revelation 14:13).
