What your spouse has that your cheating partner doesn’t
I see you standing there, checking out the woman that just walked into the grocery store in front of you. I see you glance a little longer than you should, especially since there’s a wedding ring on your hand and none on hers. I know what you’re thinking, and I want to stop you right there.
She’s not yours. Even if you weren’t married, she wouldn’t be yours anyways, at least not until you two were rightfully married, which probably isn’t what you had in mind anyways. I know that because the look you gave her is the same one you gave that woman you saw the other day at Starbucks. I know what’s on your mind, and it’s not holy.
Not that I could really stop you; after all, I’m nothing but the voice inside your head. But before you go any further, I want you to consider a few things. Yes, temporarily speaking, you may have a lot of fun, but it won’t last long, and you know it. She may have your attention now, but there’s a lot of things you have with your wife that you will never have with her.
A History: Think about all that you and your wife have gone through. The ups and downs of life that would have destroyed other couples are jewels in your marital crown that show the world just how strong you two are together (Ecclesiastes 4:12). The job loss (and unemployment that was much longer than you thought it would be) put a strain on your finances and caused more than one all-out verbal brawl that resulted in days of apologies from both sides. The sudden death of her brother that caused her to cry on your shoulder for weeks at a time, sometimes without any kind of prompting. Or how about the cross-country move that left you without any (physically) close friends for a few months? Remember the epic 6 hour scrabble fight that came out of that? Man, good times.
Your Kids: Sure, what you’re thinking may be fun for a little while, but all of that will be wiped away the moment you see the tears in your little boys eyes as you tell him that mommy and daddy are getting a divorce because daddy messed up. And when you have to decide between whether or not you want to spend Christmas or Thanksgiving with them, and when your ex-wife gets them, will it be worth it then? Where will this woman that you gave it all up for be then? Oh sure, your wife now may forgive you, but think really hard….what if she doesn’t?
A Best Friend: Admit it, there is no one that knows you better than your wife. She can read you for the open book that you are, and peer straight into your soul in a way that no one else can. Why? Because she’s around you all the time, and sees you at your best and at your worst, when you’re lying and when you’re honest, and when you’re totally shut down, and when you’re completely vulnerable. She has exactly the right words to bring you to your knees, and up off of them as well. You will never find that with anyone else, no matter how much you look for it (Genesis 2:18-25). Do you really want to lose all of that for a brief fling with this woman you didn’t know existed twenty minutes ago?
A Vow: Did you forget about that little nugget? Remember the vow you made to love her through thick and thin, good and bad, and…oh yeah, especially this…forsaking all others, to keep yourself only for her? I know you didn’t forget about the vow you made to her, and to God, did you? (Matthew 19:1-9)
So go ahead and talk to her if you want. I’m sure it’ll all be fine, I’m sure nothing will come out of that innocent flirtation by the grapefruits. But consider this: what if it does turn into something more?
